


Failed Date

by Opatoes



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 15:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opatoes/pseuds/Opatoes
Summary: Megatron was respected, once. He had an entire army that feared and revered him. Now he has a tacky blue Autobot in his lap, stroking his tires of all things.





	Failed Date

It was all that fish-for-brain’s idea. “Lure the weakest link away, Optimus will come to his rescue!” Side Burn happened to be the easiest Autobot to lure into an obvious trap, that was for sure, but at what cost?

As he thinks about it, Megatron  _ also _ remembers Sky-Byte’s  _ brilliant _ suggestion to scan an Automobile mode. All his men agreed that it was a great plan. “You have a million alt modes already, what’s one more?” And, to be honest, driving was surprisingly enjoyable, and he may have to go on some private racing ventures at a later date.

He’ll give Sky-Byte some credit, they managed to capture Side Burn fairly easily. A bit of driving down a highway and Side Burn was hooting and hollering at him, telling Megatron just how gorgeous he is, admiring his tires… It would almost be flattering, if it didn’t come from the exhaust of an obnoxious Autobot.

When they arrived at their destination, Side Burn was  _ still _ trying to get on his good side. Talking about how gorgeous his paint job was, something about Tennessee… It didn’t matter, really. Soon, he would stop, as Megatron transformed. Side Burn  _ did _ look pretty disappointed, and Megatron smiled. Finally, a plan that would actually  _ work!  _ Megatron sits down, a smug expression on his face.

But Side Burn managed to catch him completely off-guard. “So does this mean our date’s off? You know, I bet I can  _ still _ make that chassis purr like a little kitten.” Megatron looks to give him a confused glare, hoping to answer the question, when the Autobot was already in his lap.

“You do realize I could burn you alive without a second thought, Autobot?” Megatron’s looking away, focused on giving his men a piercing glare. He can  _ feel _ their snickering, even if they’re trying to stay silent right now. He would have to remind these men what it means to be obedient soldiers.

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t want to ruin our date, right? Maybe we can go for a drive together, ditch these dweebs-”

“Hey!” Slapper give an indignant yell, and Megatron almost looks relieved. This entire incident is ridiculous, and he didn’t need to make this worse than it already is.

“I’m not wrong, Slappy. Anyway, about that drive… I bet we could race around, maybe get you polished and shiny…”

He doesn’t even realize he’s petting the helm of this accursed Autobot. Even worse, Side burn doesn’t look remotely phased by this-- he’s sprawling out on Megatron’s lap, and is purring as Megatron starts to pet him. While he said he could just burn him alive, it wouldn’t be easy transforming with this Autobot on him, and furthermore, any damage to the Autobot might result in damaging himself as well.

“Why don’t I just tie you up and we end this little game, Autobot?” Megatron starts to lift up the Autobot, hoping to see him finally realize the mistake he’s made.

“Just call me Side Burn already, and you really want to do that kinda thing? On our first date?  _ Wow. _ ” Side Burn has this smug grin on him, petting Megatron’s tires. This little slagger knows  _ exactly _ what he’s doing, and Megatron feels his energon boil at the sight of it.

He could just drop this Autobot, end this farce already and just let his men deal with the menace. In fact, that’s not a bad idea at all!

It is only once he drops the Autobot that he sees his men practically running out of there. Megatron swears he heard his men say something about “Letting Megatron enjoy his date.” They are  _ so _ going to regret this when they get back to their base.

Side Burn is almost  _ too _ fast in transforming, starting to drive off. He can’t let his own hostage run off like that! Soon, Megatron’s in his alt mode as well, driving after Side Burn, hollering at him in his own way.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write a quick thing since it's been a while! This came to me because of that episode where like... Megatron transforms after Side Burn's been chasing him and it's not until Megatron like... shoots him or ties him up that Side Burn's like "Does this mean our date's off?" I swear one day I'll write them on a horrifically awkward dinner date


End file.
